Tag Archives: thoughts

On a Side Note #2

I want to give you a little status update on a few things, so I’m using this category again, as I had anticipated last time.
My pile of stuff to type is getting bigger and bigger by the day and I feel like my brain is busy with so many different ideas that I just don’t know where to start.
As I mentioned in the last What’cha Watching Wednesday did a simple story-idea ran totally amok and I’m barely catching up with it…
Aside from that have I managed to publish a few stories, namely my entry for the Clue Writing Blog Parade and Chapter Eleven of Crossing Over – that were on my to-type-list last time – and a short story for a contest over at Edge of Night.
Guess what?


My award!

Isn’t that awesome? 😀
Either way, I also managed to write two more stories for Your Picture – A Story – again both are in German: Preparations (a continuation of Lukas‘ story from my Advent Calendar) and The Medlar – a Fairy Tale for a change. 😉
During my recent stay with DarkFairy we also managed to edit quite a bit of our book in a few days time, you can read more about it here: Scenes of an Editing Marathon.
Just yesterday I also sent off my Season Summary for Season Three of Supernatural, that might be published one of these days on The Extremis Review.
By now I’m also half way through this years Advent Calendar, but it already looks like my original plan will fail, but I’ll tell you more about that in December. 😉
Other than that am I trying to catch up with my Journey through a bit of Germany-series, as there is still a lot to talk about from last year and some new stuff from this year. I’m also going to expand on the travel logs as I want to include my trip to Ireland from last Halloween, the short trip to Liegé during my mini-Journey and the one to Stockholm I’m about to partake in at the end of the month (24th-26th).
Back in July I participated in another Reading Stage (Lesebühne) and presented some of my stories. Between reading them, someone I’ve been there with commented that I should publish my stuff as it is really good. So now we come to the main reason, why I’m writing this post:
After long contemplation I created an exposé for my Advent Calendar stories, but I wasn’t sure if I should really give it away for quite some time. Then Ed proposed to set a deadline for doing so. That deadline is today, so printed the exposé, put it into an envelope and really put that envelope into the letter box of a local publisher.
I’m still not entirely sure if that was the right thing to do.
Part of me is thrilled at the thought of it being read by professionals, another part is terrified of just that. You know how the saying goes: You’re your own worst critic, so my pessimism is greatly involved in me not believing what I have done and that they won’t like it anyway…
Well, guess we’ll see what will come of this…
See you around
P.S. It’s been six months today and we regained some kind of normalcy by now, but it’s still so, so strange. Especially when Dad and I are cooking a meal after two different recipes at the same time or, you know, we’re attending a wedding together, that she would have loved to be part of…I just miss her soo much… 🙁

What’cha Watching Wednesday #7

I didn’t really feel like watching any series and focused more on old movies in the past months, but I still want to present you the seventh instalment of the What’cha Watching Wednesday, which again obviously covers more than one week.

WWWWhat is this about?

Every other Wednesday evening I will publish a post in which I collected the thoughts I had throughout the week(s) while watching the latest or any episode of a series or maybe even a movie.

Depending on how my time allows it, the comment will also be for those that I watched that day.
You’re warned: There will be Spoilers.

Let’s start

Supernatural – Season 2, Episode 15: Tall Tales (Watch Date: 11.06.) and others

While writing my Season summary for Season Three, I came across the Trickster again and decided to re-watch his episodes(, but I didn’t feel like changing the title much more than adding „and others“ as I had included a date on the other episode). I really enjoyed this character and his episodes were quite fun in a weird way. He really had had potential, but then again, so did many characters on the show…
I just really like the struggle the Trickster/Gabriel portrays, he claims to not want anything to do with Lucifers and Michaels fight, yet he does everything in his powers that Sam and Dean accept their roles in it and shows them time and again that some things just need to happen. He’s great and as I’ve discovered recently a lot of fun to write, which might explain that my simple One Shot idea kind of turned into two Multi-Chapter stories…

Incidentally I couldn’t get myself to watch The Hammer of the Gods, I just couldn’t…apart from the fact that there is so much wrong with that episode, did I just not want to see the outcome of it again…

I also watched several other episodes, though I can’t remember which ones, Season Four/Five stuff with Lucifer, Chuck and the Horsemen I believe. I also took some suggestions from wrencollins in this matter and just watched whatever I felt like.

Outlander – Season 1, Episodes 1-7 (Watch Date 6./7.6.)

As it was about to air in German television I felt like checking this one out. We’ll it is an interesting concept, the characters aren’t bad and somewhat interesting, but as you can see from the watch date, have I not gotten myself to continue since June…

My dad has probably seen more episodes in German than I have in English…

Sense8 – Season 1

I let myself be goaded into watching another series again. And I do not feel bad about it.
This show is incredible.
Actors from the actual countries the story plays in, with the actual accents, filmed in the actual locations. Really great.
And the switch between the Sensates, when they changed the perspective in a conversation or one took over and handled the situation of the other, was quite interesting, especially in the finale. I really liked the finale, though I’m afraid it’s hard to top.

I can’t even say who my favourite character is, I kind of liked all of them…Riley and Capheus are just incredibly adorable and cute, Lito and Will have quite hilarious moments, whereas Sun and Wolfgang show their badassery and Nomi and Kala, just show off their smarts, not to mention Freema Agyeman and Naveen Andrews, who made for interesting side characters.
I like the whole pretext of the show, its realization, the characters, pretty much everything…I can’t wait for Season 2 to be completed.

I am fairly certain that I might have a separate post for my Lost in Translation-series about Wolfgang – even though I have to say that they picked one of the most horrible sounding names here…
In German Wolfgang is fine, but in English? Just no. This is one of those names that, as a German, you don’t want to hear pronounced in an English way…

Speaking of translations…well…let’s say: I didn’t watch it directly on Netflix, therefore a lot of stuff is lost to me, as it did not have the translations with it, especially the Sun-focused episode, which was a pity.

Orange is the New Black – Season 3

Same problem as above, a lot of it was lost, as I didn’t have any subtitles. This was quite frustrating in the background episodes for Gloria, Chang and Leanne.

The overall storyline of this Season was a bit disappointing and boring – especially everything that concerned Piper. I just can’t stand her.
I really enjoyed the looks at the different inmates pasts again, I feel like this is always the most interesting part of the show. It was also fun to find out that another character spoke German, even if it was an Amish variation of it, that I didn’t really understand – though I believe it was the bad quality of the stream and my head still being stuck in English-mode…
The thing that bugged me most was probably Red. She was one of my favourites in the previous Seasons, but now, I’m not so sure any more. I also didn’t really understand the whole thing with Norma

So in conclusion: This Season wasn’t as good as the others, but it was still fun.

Merlin – different episodes

I felt like watching a bit Merlin again and I think Gwayne and Servant of two Masters are my most watched episodes of the series by now. Another one is The Once and Future Queen that I this time even watched in German with Fairy during my recent stay at her place. I just love Merlin’s rant in that episode and wanted to see how it was done in German. This show is just always fun to watch.

Lasko – different episodes

For every non-German: Lasko – Die Faust Gottes (The Fist of God) is a German show from 2009/10 about a secret organisation of fighting monks (Pugnus Dei – hence the title) that fight another secret organisation Ares and other people who want to do nasty things to those who can’t defend themselves. As this show was produced by a station known for its love of scripted reality and casting shows, you might imagine the seriousness of the production. Lasko is a totally ridiculous show, with the titular character constantly loosing his Habit to fight the foes showing off his muscular chest. He has a chubby side-kick that is good for quips and wordplays and there are so many tropes and what not, that it gets fun to watch because of its terribleness.

The show started shortly after we started writing Warlords and Fairy and I made it a tradition to watch each new episode together and discuss it directly via ICQ. We had a lot of fun doing that and we still have fun watching the show now and giving off the same comments we used to make. We just love Gladius. 😀

Buffy – different episodes

Just as the ones above: I just felt like watching some episodes of Buffy and I do believe I even caught some I haven’t seen back when it was still on television. Well, it’s also interesting to re-watch it in its original language and not in the translated version I grew up with. Does anyone else consider Tabula Rasa one of the shows most hilarious episodes? 😀

Different movies

As I said in the beginning did I feel more like watching movies than series in the past few months and I came across several quite interesting pieces and some really weird choices…
As I don’t want to go into that much detail I’ll simply make a name-dropping description here and say a few things about them.
One last comment before I start: When I consider actors to be interesting, I like to check out their other work, so some of the choices came from that perspective and I probably forgot to add some of them.

Lucifer (Mark Pellegrino) and Castiel (Misha Collins) in the same movie? Of course I had to check out Moving Alan, though I’m not entirely sure, what exactly I watched there… It is a weird mixture of Weekend at Bernies and other things I cannot name, just with two girls, a dead-turned-paralysed husband and an insane actor in the middle of the desert… it’s just weird…

Not much better is Par 6, another of Collins‘ older movies about a family obsessed with golf, though it has some more fun scenes than the other one. Downside for me: Their accents were hard to understand sometimes.

As it was in his imdb list as well I took a look at Girl, Interrupted, his role here was only a minor five seconds part and the focus was on the main characters played by Winona Rider and Angelina Jolie. I don’t really like Jolie as an actress, but in this role she was quite creepy, well, the whole film is strange and creepy, but still interesting.

What I, however, noticed is that Collins‘ minor or side character roles seemingly often include being the love interest or some kind of random hook-up for one of the main character. Which is kind of best shown in Over Her Dead Body, were he really is just that – same in Girl, Interrupted. Makes you wonder about his role in Supernatural… 😀
Anyway, that movie was quite fun, the idea wasn’t new – ghost fiancé stalks her ex and tries to convince him to not fall in love with another girl -, but doing the whole thing through a medium made for some quite funny scenes. And Paul Rudd did a good job at playing the confused and torn ex, but I think I have yet to see him in a role that I didn’t enjoy watching, which is in stark contrast to Jason Biggs, whose role choices I do often question, guess someone just has to do those things as well…

One of my, if not the, highlight/s of this watching streak was 3 Blind Saints, with Richard Speight Jr. as main character. This movie is hilarious and if you haven’t seen it, you should totally check it out – if you did, you should watch it again. It has a lot of slapstick and situation humor, but here are some of my favourites:

  • Several people try to get an out of jail free card, by claiming that they were saved by God – one of them is an atheist
  • The main characters end up having to pretend to be ministers in the local community with the atheist having to fill the role of the pastor.
  • Some very strange argumentations and utterly ridiculous prayers and sermons.
  • A very strange meeting with God
  • A couple of guys in drag – one of them unwilling to shave off his beard – trying to get a confession out of a bad guy, with a kink for girls in short skirts, who knows its them in drag and plays along.

I watched it for a second time on Sunday and I could watch it again, it’s just so much fun. It’s far from being perfect and has a lot of flaws (e.g. a missing and re-appearing beard/stubble), but it’s just one of those funny feel-good movies.

I grew up with the Harry Potter movies, so when I got the chance to pick up Driving Lessons
with Rupert Grint, I didn’t hesitate long. This movie has an interesting take on different things: The protected life of an only child, the downsides of growing old alone, growing up and being an artist. It’s a nice watch. Emma Watson’s The Secret Life of a Wallflower on the other hand took a more depressing turn. It shown some light on different usually left out problems (depression, suicide, homophobia, …), but it felt like they still left out things that would have made it more clear and more rounded. That’s a bit disappointing for an otherwise good movie. Though I somehow can’t remember the ending or I am at least not sure that what I remember is the ending…

On a similar depressing note was Coming Down the Mountain with Nicholas Hoult, but here I really liked the conclusion, even though some of the things that happened throughout the movie were quite creepy. It’s an interesting take on the struggles to live with someone who suffers from the Down Syndrome.
For some reason I decided to watch What’s Your Number? with Chris Evans and I’m still not entirely sure why I did. The movie isn’t totally bad, but it has some quite strange moments. Though not as bad as Totally Blonde, where my memory kind of betrayed me… I remembered it as a fun movie with singer Michael Bublé, but it turned out to be something entirely different and I’m not sure how I made it through the movie, as some decisions by the main character were utterly frustrating to say the least. Speaking of frustrating main characters: The Devil Wears Prada. I really don’t get the appeal of these kinds of movies where a woman with a totally okay style and personality changes everything in order to become the „better“ person for someone else (here: her boss) and loses herself in the process. Not my type of movie, but I like Anne Hathaway and Glen Close and felt like watching this again…

Tumblr is a great what-to-watch source when it comes to their favourite actors. So I checked out The Losers, with Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Idris Elba in main roles. It turned out to be one of the DC-adaptations that I actually enjoyed. It was fun, had some good action and a lot of logical flaws, but still a nice watch.

Before we went to Fairys place we stayed at her parents place and watched a French/German version of Beauty and the Beast from 2014 with her boyfriend and Fissel (her sister) that just aired on television, though we kind of missed the beginning of the movie, twice. We still had a lot of fun watching it and commenting on different things, but the whole experience could be summed up in this quote from Fairy, that we put on our Facebook-Page:

The movie is fun, but I don’t think it was planned to be a comedy.

More quotes (including stuff about beagles and rose tendrils) can be found there, though they are in German, if you’d like a translation, let me know.
We did consider, however, if we should record ourselves watching movies, so that other people can be part of our ridiculous conversations. 😀 Would anyone be interested in such a thing?

I also re-watched the Underworld movies with Unmei. We are three movies in and the fourth, The Awakening, would then be new for me as well. In the first three films it is nice to follow the different connections among them, but we kind of had large pauses between watching them, so some things weren’t that easy to recognize. It doesn’t matter how often I see these movies Lucien is still my favourite character of the four parts. Still, I don’t get how Michael Sheen could agree to betray the Lycans and become a sparkling vampire. o.O

Also on Speights list I found Noobz a movie about a Gaming Tournament and it’s participants. It took me a while to recognize Jon Gries beneath that god awful mullet, but it was indeed him who had a very strange and short conversation with Speights character and later on a tiny bit larger role in the overall storyline…
The movie is a very strange look on gamers and they used a lot of stereotypes and weird characters, but it still was somewhat fun. The effort in showing this kind of subgenre reminded me a bit of Knights of Badassdom, which is way more fun as it has a quite awesome soundtrack, that Noobz can’t compete with by having only two rock numbers. Still, when it comes to movies/series depicting gamers and nerds do I prefer Felicia Day’s The Guild and Zombie Orpheus‘ The Gamers– series. They feel way more accurate and genuine than the other stuff out there, which is kind of obvious as they are made by and for gamers…

Well, I didn’t only watch old stuff, I was also in the cinema a couple of times.
At first I thought I wouldn’t manage to see Mara und der Feuerbringer (Mara and the Firebringer), due to some scheduling issues in the marketing, but then I found out that it was screened in Greifswald and I took Schmusi and Anna from the HGWAnime with me to see it and we had a lot of fun. Finally a German Fantasy movie that isn’t as stoic and flat as German movies tend to be, has interesting characters, an interesting plot and funny dialogues. With songs like Echter wahrer Held/True Genuine Hero by Schandmaul it also has a nice soundtrack. Schmusi first thought it was Jan Josef Liefers doing the singing until I told her it was the singer of one of the bands that first got me hooked on Metal. 😀
Anyway, if you get the chance: Definitely check this one out!

I also saw Melissa McCarthy’s latest flick Spy and laughed a lot, though we were wondering if the age level was appropriate for that movie, as it did have some nasty sequences. I went to check out Mad Max: Fury Road after all the praise it got on Tumblr and I wasn’t disappointed. The strange and staccato like cut of the movie was a bit confusing, but it was still fun to watch. More fun, however, was Ant-Man that I originally didn’t even want to see, but went along when Fairy and her boyfriend asked if we’d go and see it. After the changed tone in Age of Ultron this one was more focused on the humour than the seriousness of it all. I don’t regret seeing this one after all.

What were you watching?

What episodes (or movies) did you enjoy/dislike throughout the week/month?
Anything you’d recommend checking out?
Let me know in the comments below!

Final Words

We’ll see when I’ll write another one of these…


On a Side Note

As I haven’t really published anything here in these past few weeks, I felt like I should at least write something to explain this lack of content – or maybe even use this headline in the future to just rant about things.
Anyway, the lack of posts isn’t due to lack of ideas, far from it.
I believe, I could fill more than a month with The Wesen of Grimm alone.
Beside that, is my imagination working as well as it hasn’t had in quite some time. I have a rough versions of several stories or story-parts, but there is one minor problem:
I have them handwritten and I’m too lazy to type them…
Well, at least I managed to motivate myself to finish On the Run (German Story) and The Legend of the lost Keys (German story) in time for their release for Your Picture – A Story.

What else have I written?

You see, my mind was busy these past few weeks, but I didn’t get around or felt like typing any of it. Still, I prefer to write things by hand. I can’t really explain why, but I guess I just like crossing out stuff and not being dependant on technology. Back when I was still writing with a fountain pen, I also liked the way it cast its shadow on the paper…
Though, if any of you know an App or Program for a tablet that manages to turn terrible handwriting into computer readable words, I’d be more than happy to hear about it! A program like that would save me a whole lot of time…
As for the What’cha Watching Wednesday: It’s not that I didn’t watch anything either, but I didn’t really know what I should write about the series I’ve seen and apart from them I mostly watched old movies with certain actors and I still haven’t figured out how to include those things…
Either way, I’m not sure how often I will update the site during the next few weeks. On Wednesday I’m off to the Rockharz again with Anice, Black Kat, Babsi and others and two weeks later I’ll be visiting Fairy, Nazgul and maybe Icewolf, as a mini- Journey through a bit of Germany. Fairy and I will also be at the Noch ein Bier Fest (One more beer feast) by Sabaton, which will be a lot of fun…
Wish me luck that I can think up another Weekend Guess in time for my departure, as I already had trouble with the last one.
See you around

WriteTheWhite-Activity: Characters with Tattoos

As I’m trying to get back into writing I had a look through my old drafts and dug this one up.
Back then I – again –  felt inclined to do an exercise from WriteTheWhite, this time about characters with tattoos. In her post Sherri used a picture of a young man with a tree tattoo covering his chest and described a character with a similar one. The man from the picture became a werwolf and rather than the task itself (that you can find below) this reminded me of one of my own characters, whose story I have yet to tell. In an effort to finally get his project some much needed spotlight and maybe push myself to finally write it down, I decided to take up this activity.

But first let’s have a look at the Activity:

Task: Find a picture of a tattoo that inspires you. If you would like to share, post your snippet and a link to your picture in the comments.
What do you see?
Who is this person?
How old are they?
What is the tattoo of?
Why do they have it?
Is it important?
What is his world?
What does he love?
What does he hate?
Does he give his name freely?
What is it?
+ Add Questions of your own.

Finding a picture of the tattoos is quite difficult, as I have a character in mind, whose tattoos are just some sketches I made a couple of years ago and some of them are even still changing.
But what I know is this (The italic questions from above, will be answered, the normal ones are partly answered below):

The Tattoos (What do you see? What is the tattoo of? Is it important?)

Covering his back from shoulder blades down to his hips is a tribal tattoo of a wolfs‘ head looking straight at you with pricked ears turned sideways. The dark lines of the fur are interwoven, but you can still follow the strands easily. Most notably are its piercing eyes and its sharp, snarling fangs.
At first this tattoo was a dragon in a Chinese tattooing style, but it did not fit the character.
On his left (or right) upper arm you can see a pale blossomed lily encircling a round shape, that only up close can be recognized as a full moon.
Another moon can be found on his well formed abdomen, just about where his rips start, though depending on when in his time line you see it, the tattoo might only be one torn up half of the moon.
Depending as well are two small paw prints on his chest: A right one on the left side and a left one on the right side.
These all have a meaning to him and the wolf also to others, but you will have to wait a bit for more information. 🙂
Uncertain tattoos are a stripe like tribal tattoo covering his right (or left) shoulder, a five-pointed star on the back of his neck with three letters in each point and a lifelike snake encircling his leg and biting it.
Though the stripes probably go to a different character, the star-theme already felt weird as part of the plot when I first thought it up and the snake is just a silly idea for a kind of prank tattoo.

The Person

Now we get to the interesting part where I talk about him publicly for the first time. A few people have already heard – some even read – about him, but he mostly only exists in notes and thoughts.

Who is this person? How old are they? Does he give his name freely?

His full name is Michael Casper Fox.
He was born a bastard to a local farmer boy and a whore on 11th of November 1880 and mostly raised by the local Healer and Herb Woman. In his twentieth year (before his birthday) he was turned into a Werwolf. Ever since then he struggled with his wolf side and created a separate identity for it. While interacting with humans he uses his given name, Michael (Fox), while his pack only knows him as Casper. This identity soon develops into a second personality. Where Michael is caring and compassionate, Caspar is ruthless and carefree.
Though thanks to the strength and longevity of the wolf inside of him he gains the position of pack leader in his 50s – the race of wolfs he belongs to has a very slow ageing process where they can live up to thousands of years. But as he does not care much for the responsibilities this brings with it, he only acts as such if the pack is threatened and otherwise leaves the leading to two other capable pack members: His mentor/friend Cole and Justine, the daughter of the former leaders.
For a long time the most important person in his life was his older (half-)brother Andrew, he cares for him deeply and protects him at all costs. Like he does for every other person he cares about that will not be mentioned here.
This is but the tip of the iceberg of who Michael is, but he is one of my favourite characters, as I can explore many different things with him.

The Meaning of the Tattoos (Why do they have it?)

Let’s have a look at why he has these tattoos and what they stand for.

The Wolf

In my world the wolf itself is a symbol and tells you different things about the person that wears it as jewellery or tattoo. Though only some are allowed to actually wear it as you will see from the following tables:

Ears facing front facing side
pricked Alpha –
pure blood
Alpha –
half lowered
Beta –
pure blood
Beta –
lowered Omega –
pure blood
Omega –

If neither of the following applies than the wolf doesn’t have a special position:

Mouth Teeth snarling Tongue out
Meaning Official Executioner
for the Council

So, now do you remember how I described Michael’s tattoo?
Right, he is a bitten Alpha and an Official Executioner.
Before you complain: The Executioner’s aren’t used on a whim, they only target people – and wolves – who threaten the continued existence of wolves or that brutally violate their laws (Killing humans is forbidden – biting/turning them is already frowned upon and rarely practised).
And yes, the Werwolves have a council lead by the oldest pure blooded wolves that pass laws for the population and appoint ambassadors to deal with the humans and other creatures.
The pure blooded Werwolves derive from the first wolves in a direct line, with no human blood in the mix. Werwolves are considered as born when their ancestry includes both werwolves and humans and as bitten when they were turned by another wolf.
While Michael struggles with some of the parts of being a wolf, he is still proud of the things he achieved thanks to it. Usually this symbol of status is worn as an accessory (ring, amulet) or medium tattoo, but he – or rather Casper – decided it should cover his whole back.

The Lily and the Moon

Chosen as a memory for a friend after she is killed by a Hunter – the less law-bound human version of the Executioners – due to her own past and their friendship. He gets this tattoo in his 80s. It symbolizes her ability to accept him as what he is. Still, this tattoo gets an even deeper meaning when he falls in love with a human woman that is called Lilly, who not just returns his feelings, but also helps him to merge his personalities.

The Paw Prints

From the point of which I want to start telling his – and his families – story (where he’s about 140 years old) it is pretty clear whom the paw prints belong to, but for this I only give you a little hint: Puppies. 😀

The Moon

Just to see if the tattoo would stay he got the moon on his abdomen quite early on, as more of a joke. It is not really well done and it does look even worse after part of it is removed through an injury.

The Other stuff

I feel like answering the remaining questions or elaborating on the ones I did answer, is giving too much away of the things I want to tell, when I actually start working on (t)his story, again. Back in 2004 I started the story that would result in his, as what was pretty much a Buffy Fanfiction. While some influences of the show are still visible in the plot and characters, most of it was replaced by my variations of the themes used there and in other media. 2008 I made another attempt at writing the story down by starting on a later point in the time line with a different character (Michael got a background role in that one). I published some of the early chapters, which were pretty short, and really bad in retrospective, in a forum I was in at that time. I still didn’t have a name for the overall story and there was only little feedback, so I stopped again. Since then I merely rethought the characters and their stories, but barely wrote anything down.
There is a lot of story concerning this character and the people around him that would probably fill more than one book (probably six judging from the notes I made some weeks ago). I just don’t know how I want to put together the different parts to make the story both interesting and enjoyable and I’m not entirely satisfied with how the notes turned out. I’m also afraid that in the end it sounds like a written Soap Opera, as the struggles the characters face are more of an everyday life nature and rarely life threatening and not supernatural and murderous. But maybe I’m too hard on myself and I already have all these interesting elements, I just don’t see them any more as I’ve been working on this story for over ten years and am now too nervous to get it out.
At least I feel more and more comfortable with naming this thing Bloodlines, as it indeed focuses on the adventures of several related people.
I hope it’s okay that I re-interpreted the task again and used it to finally write a bit about this character of mine. Maybe this’ll help me to finally get started on the actual version of the whole story. It at least helped to get some much needed notes down regarding the story lines. Who knows. 🙂

What'cha Watching Wednesday #6

As there is again stuff that got in the way of finishing this post on time (an unplanned trip home and a concert), I decided that I will turn this into a more irregular series. So, with some delay I present to you the sixth instalment of the What’cha Watching Wednesday which again covers more than one week.

WWWWhat is this about?

Every other Wednesday evening I will publish a post in which I collected the thoughts I had throughout the week(s) while watching the latest or any episode of a series or maybe even a movie.
Depending on how my time allows it, the comment will also be for those that I watched that day.
You’re warned: There will be Spoilers.

Let’s start

Supernatural – Season 10, Episodes 23/24: (Watch Date: 14./21.05.)

They really did it…
They really went through with that ridiculous idea of having to kill off one of the most beloved characters… Even now two weeks later, there is still much discussion over on Tumblr and I kind of think this might become one of the things the fandom just doesn’t accept or will be in denial about for quite some time.
The best thing in The Prisoner, which was very minor redemption for what they did the previous episode was Dean’s line:

„I think it should be you up there — not her.“

I agree with him whole heartedly, as I’m getting more and more annoyed by Sam. Story-wise he brought Charlie into that predicament, he didn’t listen when he was told to stop.
Still, so much more and so many different things could have been done with the whole situation. I saw contemplations for the body to just be an illusion, I read theories that Rowena taught Charlie a spell that would have helped her, I also came across the simple fact that Charlie could have just climbed out of the window which was even suggested by actress Felicia Day herself.
But no. They didn’t do any of it.
As a writer myself, the excuse that this was where the story lead them doesn’t really work for me (and I know a thing or two about stories that develop into completely different directions from what was initially intended: *click*). The narrative of the Season so far let to many things, but not to kill off Charlie in the most undeserved way possible.
Despite that was there another good thing for the episode:
Dean is slowly breaking apart due to the loss – which could have been handled differently, but still – and Castiel confronts him and tries to stop him.
What I find most incredible about this is that Cas, a powerful angel that could have easily subdued a mark-controlled/afflicted Dean, did not go back on his words to not hurt him and did not fight back and let Dean pummel and threaten to kill him. This was a very strong way of displaying his loyalty beside the spoken „And everyone you know, everyone you love — they could be long dead. Everyone except me.“ (And yes I’m still not calling it Romance)
What I understand even less then Charlie’s demise was why they included a look into the backstory for for the (Franken)Styne family only to have Dean kill them off? They could have spent that time to explore how Charlie could have escaped…or with re-animating her…or many other things better than to include those idiots in the first place…
From all the Season finales I watched in the recent years Brother’s Keepers was one of the most  disappointing and unsatisfying finales.
The whole narration of the episode stood in stark contrast to the Season’s narrative. The title screen shows Angelic Grace destroying Demonic Smoke, yet Castiel was nowhere near Dean when the mark-plot was resolved, neither was either involved in the spell that caused it (One could go out on a limp an argue that they meant the encounter between Castiel and Crowley, but that does not qualify in my book). As I contemplated some time ago did a lot point towards Castiel saving Dean from the mark by sacrificing his Grace.
But no they added the book, the Stynes and the witch to unlock a nasty spell that would remove it, but unleash something very bad that the mark kept in check. Thanks to Death we know this and while the Winchesters seemingly accepted that Dean would be sent to another plain and Sam killed, so he wouldn’t start rescuing Dean again, the whole thing was called off when Dean misses his brothers head, reaps the reaper instead and Rowena casts the spell. Bonus points for the communication skills, that caused this whole mess to go down… A short phone call would have sufficed to tell the others to stop, but no reaping first, then we see what happens…
The new threat, The Darkness, had a similar entry to the Demons at the end of Season Two, but I kind of anticipated that one of the openings would destroy Baby, but no such luck here either…
The writer’s seem to be telling their own story, regardless of the things the characters did or said before, there also seems the be some kind of memory blockage when it comes to repeating plot lines that have been explored before…
A part of me wants to know how they will continue from here, another part – the larger part – wants them to redo the last few episodes and write them according to the narrative of the Season…
Maybe I’ll join the Fanfiction author’s and try myself on a fix-it fic….

Undateable – Season Two, Episode 7-8: A Live Show Walks into a Bar (Watch Date: 15.05.)

I don’t really have to add anything to my assessment from last time, but I got someone from the HGWAnime hooked on the show when I talked about the funny live show in these episodes with many guest stars like the guys from Scrubs or Ed Sheeran. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who liked this live show, so Season Three will consists only of live shows…

Orange is the new Black – Season One; Season Two (Watch Date: 15-19./21.05.)

As I still had some time left on the trial run from Netflix after watching Daredevil I decided to check out this series.
And again I have to say that I am baffled at the quality that was displayed. It is incredible that a format that is not easily accessible puts so much effort into creating great content, when programs for the masses are carelessly shoved onto the audience.
There were few things I didn’t like watching the show (e.g. Chapman in regards to my I-don’t-like-main-characters-problem), but so many more things that I enjoyed. I’ll probably get into more details later on, but there are some things I’d like to say here already.
I really enjoyed the stories of the side characters, which where way more interesting than learning anything about Piper. The show also criticises society in every form and shape a lot and it is good and necessary critique.
But the thing that got me to enjoy the show even more than I already did, was the usage of my beloved mother’s tongue during the episode You also have a Pizza. 😀
This episode will get a special instalment of the Lost in Translation series as one of the few positive examples. I’m still excited about it…
Though they do well with all kinds of accents and languages from what I can tell.
As diverse as the languages is the cast, the characters and their backgrounds.
Simply put: It’s a brilliant show.
I’m really looking forward to seeing more of it.
Though I wonder if I am the only person that thought Trisha looked like a female Joffrey Baratheon, even though the actors are apparently not related…

Elementary – Season Three, Episode 24: A Controlled Descent (Watch Date: 28.05)

Finally some actual plot beside the case, but it still hadn’t had the effect I would have liked. They only hinted at Sherlocks relapse and didn’t show much of the struggle he went through afterwards. For character development it would have been interesting to see that.
But now we can only wait for Season Four and the possible appearance of Holmes senior. Maybe they will do some more character exploration there again…

Once Upon A Time – Season Four, Episode 16-23 (Watch Date: 30./31.05.)

So I finally managed to catch up with OUAT, but my initial excitement for the new development regarding the villains soon subsided. I mean, I get why they included a reason for why they became the way they are, but some of it just felt cheap, disappointing and too rushed.
There also where some things that didn’t make sense to me:

  • Does the Clover-thing from Oz have a cloaking spell itself or why the hell did Robin not recognise that thing, when they made the baby?
  • Why did they even have to include another baby? o.O
  • And why does everyone keep using his name as if he was called Robinhood and not Robin Hood? They could just call him Robin…
  • How can a real-world heart scan not notice a heart that supposedly is close to turning into coal?
  • Why does every bad guy have to be on some kind of revenge trip? It’s getting boring…
  • Why did Emmas childhood friend Lily have to turn out to be Maleficent‘s daughter?
  • Where’s Belles back bone when it comes to switching between Will and Rumplestiltskin?
  • Why does Will even get involved with her, when we know from OUAT: Wonderland that he doesn’t have his heart and is in love with another? (Where in his time line are we?)
  • Why is everything connected?

If anyone has answers for any of the above questions, please let me know.
Other than that was it kind of obvious that The Sorcerer is non other than Merlin himself. Though I was more disappointed in the conclusion of the Happy Ending for villains plot. Ursula, Regina and Maleficent pretty much got theirs, Cruella was disposed of and Rumple released the Dark One. I think I’d be more happy for the two of the first three, if I had known them a bit longer and we still don’t know what consequences Rumple will now face without the Dark One and if he considers it to be a Happy Ending.
For the whole Dark One lore I had hoped they would have included something fancy like the Baba Yaga creating it or something, instead we got another evil smoke thing that was battled at the dawn of time by a powerful entity. Still, this finale was much more enjoyable than the other one (even though the smoke in SPN looked a bit like the curse-smoke from OUAT >_<) .

What were you watching?

What episodes (or movies) did you enjoy/dislike throughout the week?
Anything you’d recommend checking out?
Let me know in the comments below!

Final Words

I accidentally spoilered myself for Grimm, so I’m not sure when I’ll feel like catching up with it and as all these series now had their Season finales I’m probably checking out other stuff until their return. We’ll see.

What'cha Watching Wednesday #5

Without warning I skipped two weeks of this thing, but not because I didn’t watch anything, but because of my Dad’s and, well, my Mum’s birthday. I just didn’t feel like writing this. So, with some delay I present to you the fifth instalment of the What’cha Watching Wednesday which again covers more than one week.

WWWWhat is this about?

Each Wednesday evening I will publish a post in which I collected the thoughts I had throughout the week while watching the latest or any episode of a series or maybe even a movie.
Depending on how my time allows it, the comment will also be for those that I watched that day.
You’re warned: There will be Spoilers.

Let’s start

Supernatural – Season 10, Episodes 19-21 (Watch Date: 23.04./01./07.05.)

The Werther Project was a strange episode. On the one hand did it give us another look at the Men of Letters and of course the return of Benny, but on the other hand did it just re-iterate things we already knew. We know Dean has pretty much given up on getting rid of the Mark and Sam shows more and more ruthlessness in his pursuit to still try. Still, nice to see Benny again – even though he wasn’t the real Benny – and his discussion with Dean was well handled and interestingly put back in Purgatory.
When I read the title for Angel Heart I expected something different. In a way did it concern Castiel’s heart, but not like I thought it would. Just some episodes ago in The Hunter’s Game we saw the return of Claire Novak, the daughter of his vessel and now she is back and searching for her mother. Well, they find her, but it’s not a happy re-union… Just let me say that it was nice to get some closure on this part of Castiel’s background, even though I’m not entirely sure it was necessary to get rid of Claire’s Mum like that, but I’m probably just a bid touchy right now when it comes to Mum’s.
Additionally, it again showed that not all angels are alike and that there are bad kinds that would rather harm humans than help them.
As for Dark Dynasty, apart from the ridiculous fact that they turned the already useless addition of the Styne family into the FRANKENstein family and that it was already obvious that keeping stuff from Dean would turn out bad – because it always does, is there only one thing I have to say about this episode and especially about its end:


Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D – Season Two, Episode 14-22 (Watch Date: April/May)

As I expected last time did I catch up with this show to be prepared for Avengers: Age of Ultron, though as the release in Germany was before the one in the States (again) the last piece of the puzzle was still missing when I went to the cinema.
Anyway, the episodes were again a roller-coaster. We finally found out, why May is called the Cavalry, we learned more about Skye and the Inhumans and many more.
Skye’s story was interestingly handled and even though there was a different kind of Mum-problem as in Supernatural, I really enjoyed Skye’s last interaction with her dad.
They also finally made good on the relationship between Fitz and Simmons, but in a weird way. While they finally interacted and talked again, was there still not the same spark that made them special in Season One. I really liked them back then, but now that Simmons has changed to a more cold-hearted and calculating person this is all really strange. It’s not like I want them to be together – that would ruin the beauty of their relationship, though that is already ruined – but I just want them to be normal around each other again and the little nods with the sandwich in Afterlife or their general interaction these last few episodes. Though, seemingly the love-bug has latched on Simmons from seeing Hunter nearly lose Bobbi and she seemingly had a change of heart regarding Fitz’s confession from the last Season finale and though I’m inclined to refer to my earlier assessment of Dark Dynasty to how they coped with it in this finale…
Apart from that do I still not get why anyone would even want to be around Ward. I just can’t stand that guy and his misguided, manipulative ways… It’s also beyond me why they kill off interesting characters and keep the awful ones… He is just such a shallow and boring character… [Edit: Forgot to add, that I already discussed this character in length over at Pop goes the Culture and I just don’t feel like adding more to it right now…]
And why does everybody have an agenda? This is just getting ridiculous…
Well, I guess we’ll see how the next Season will turn out, as it just has been renewed. (Like Agent Carter, YAY! :D)

Daredevil – Season One (Watch Date: 25./26.04.)

So, apparently I couldn’t help myself but to sign in on Netflix and watch the entire Season in two days…
I never really cared about Daredevil as a character, I’ve seen some stuff, watched that movie back in the day, but barely knew anything about him and I probably confused him with other heroes more than once. But with all the good Marvel did in their movies and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Agent Carter and all the stuff I’ve seen over at tumblr I got more and more curious.

And I wasn’t disappointed.
It’s a really great and interesting show and very different from all that Marvel has offered us so far. Where usually there is black and white the characters here are ambiguous to say the least, everyone could be seen as hero or villain, depending on the point of view. They have interesting characters on either side. Fisk and his right hand man were just as interesting as Matt and Foggy. Though I was surprised at how likeable the supposed bad guy was, how utterly annoying a wannabe journalist (Karen) and how fascinating a mere nurse (Claire) can be.

Most incredible is, however, the acting. It’s always hard for an actor to get into a role of a disabled person, but pretending to be a blind character that can see through his other senses, but pretends to see nothing, sounds like a pretty difficult job to me. And it was well done by Charlie Cox, whom I only knew through his role in Stardust.
The only thing I found strange was his American-English accent, it sounded so weird and when I re-watched Stardust – for the first time in English – the difference to his more British-English accent was clearly, well, visible would be a very bad pun, but I can’t think of any better word.
Though pretty much everyone did a great job.
I’m really looking forward to seeing more of this show, though I’m also curious what they will deal with story-wise as they already killed off one major character and interesting side characters and put the main villain in jail – though Marvel villains rarely stay in prison for long…
(P.S. In my first part of the post I accidentally wrote Datedevil, which sounds like a weird comedy show about dating…)

Undateable – Season Two, Episode 04-06 (Watch Date: End of April)

Speaking of really weird dating show: Some time during my break I discovered this show.
It’s weird, not always funny, weird and has a bunch of ridiculous characters and did I say weird?
They play a lot with stereotypes and prejudices, but there are also moments of utter ridiculousness. It’s fun to watch and you don’t really have to think much while doing so.
It’s a nice alternative to the other shows.

Elementary – Season Three, Episode 18-23 (Watch Date 04.05./11.05.)

Two shows about Sherlock Holmes pop up close to each other: One keeps close to the books, the other only takes the names and some basics. Well, and one has way more episodes than the other. But I won’t go into more detail as I want to make a comparison post between the two series one day.
Anyway, Elementary is an interesting crime show, with eccentric characters and weird puzzles. But this show falls in the footsteps of many other crime shows and repeats the same pattern over and over again. There is little development in the overall storyline and character development, there is just the crime solving. The only things that happened were the change in relationship between Holmes and his sober companion and the possible promotion for the police captain.
It’s just getting a tad bit boring.

Escape Artist- Season One, Episode 1 (Watch Date 30.04.)

In a recent rush of buying some DVDs I got my hands on this one. Unmei and I watched the first episode in German, but we didn’t get around to continue. British crime shows are very different to what we are used to here in Germany, but it is always interesting to watch.
The bad guy in this one seems utterly creepy and there was again a mother who didn’t make it to the end of the episode. The story deals with some quite interesting aspects of the works in court, so I’m curious how this will turn out.

The Pretender – Season One, Episode 13/14: Bazooka Jarod/Ranger Jarod (Watch Date: 23./27. 04.)

We also didn’t manage to continue with (re-)watching this one in German.
But we discussed that it would be highly unlikely that what Jarod does in the series in general wouldn’t be possible in a current day setting and it would also be quite hard to replace the actor. Michael T. Weiss just does a really great job at portraying the childish genius of this character.

Doctor Who – Season Three, Episode 11: Utopia (Watch Date 03.05.)

As I already got the Netflix account for Daredevil I used the chance to find out how they translated the phrase uttered by The Face of Boe to The Doctor that played a role again in this episode:

„You Are Not Alone“

Turns out they didn’t, at least not completely. They used the English phrase and gave the translation afterwards, but you still could make the connection to Professor Yana (aka The Master). I think this is a good choice as renaming the character would have been silly…
Translated the phrase reads: Du bist nicht allein, Therefore the name would be: DBNA and I doubt anyone would go by such a name… (The formal version Sie sind nicht allein would make even less sense: SSNA).
Anyway, please don’t ask me, why I started thinking about this, things like that just happen.

What were you watching?

What episodes (or movies) did you enjoy/dislike throughout the week?
Anything you’d recommend checking out?
Let me know in the comments below!

Final Words

As you can see did I catch up with with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, as I went to see Avengers: Age of Ultron on the 26th of April. The cinema here actually played the original version once, beside the German dub. Thanks to them sending me into the wrong room when I wanted to watch Guardians of the Galaxy in English I now got to see AoU for free. 🙂

What'cha Watching Wednesday #4

To get back into the flow of Blogging I present to you the fourth instalment of the What’cha Watching Wednesday and its new logo.

WWWWhat is this about?

Each Wednesday evening I will publish a post in which I collected the thoughts I had throughout the week while watching the latest or any episode of a series or maybe even a movie.
Depending on how my time allows it, the comment will also be for those that I watched that day.
You’re warned: There will be Spoilers.

Let’s start

Supernatural – Season 10, Episodes 18: Book of the Damned (Watch Date: 16.04.)

Just like last week did Tumblr force me to catch up with this show. It’s just no use to get spoilered all over the place (I know you can block tags, but I’m too lazy for that).
I was mainly confused by the whole Book of the Damned plot. I mean Sam mentions the book back in There’s No Place Like Home and pretty much sends Charlie off to find it, but that’s about all of what we learn about it. Okay, it’s evil and written on the skin of an insane nun, but regardless of that we pretty much no nothing more than that it might me capable of helping Dean.
Also the inclusion of yet another party with the Styne family wasn’t well executed either – right now they feel as useless a side-plot as Cole. And why does it have to be a Nazi-support family again? I’m getting really tired of those…
When it comes down to it I think this episode had two good things:
#1: Charlie returned!
I really like Felicia Day. I first met her as Codex in The Guild, who is probably just as nerdy as Charlie, no Codex is nerdier…anyway, Felicia so far did not disappoint me in any of the roles I saw her in. With Supernatural her appearance always leaves me grinning, but also fearing that she will not see the end of the episode, both because she has a high likeliness of getting (badly) injured and the shows high amount of female(-lead) deaths…
It’s by the way interesting that Charlie’s real name is Celeste, which derives from the Italian name Caelestis, means nothing else than: „from the sky, heavenly“ or in other words: celestial. You could also count „Charlie“ as reference to Charlie’s Angels and get another direct connection to the other celestial beings – even if just by name.
So technically we had a gathering of the heavenly host at the Bunker, when Charlie and Castiel met for the first time this episode (Sorry, couldn’t resist that one…).
Speaking of celestial poultry:
#2: Castiel got his grace back!
While I still don’t like the behind-Deans-back part of the current story line, did I quite enjoy the dialogue between Castiel and Metatron.
Several times now it was implied that Castiel is not like other angels.

  • He is compassionate for (certain) humans (in particular).
  • He enjoys being around them
  • He willingly defies orders to do what he believes is the right thing to do.
  • He thinks in colours.

The way I see it, was the only reason his missing grace bothered him, was the fact that he couldn’t continue to help and felt useless and was even willing enough to die as punishment for what he had caused in Heaven. He also felt so bad when he took another angels‘ grace that he had pretty much given up and would have used it until nothing remained and he would get back to the point before he got it, but as he saw a glimpse of hope to restore his own grace, he took it.
But why did I like the conversation?
Metatron not just implied, but directly asked what Cas even is right now. They discuss – well Metatron has more or less a monologue about it – being human and show some of its perks. He doesn’t even consider Castiel to be an Angel of the Lord any more. At that point Cas is living on borrowed grace and not really following anyone’s orders but his own – and maybe the Winchesters. He also has experienced humanity in many different ways (being mortal himself, watching humanity, being with the Winchesters, …) So when we finally see Castiel’s wings again it is kind of a big shock.
When we first saw them back in Season Four a fan made this theory of the molting angel and that raising Dean from hell had quite an impact on him/his wings.
But now…well…his wings are barely existing any more and it is kind of terrifying. I can’t look at pictures of it without feeling bad for him…
But somehow, aside from the very bad state of his wings, do I kind of get the feeling – and judging from some theories regarding this Season’s intro others do as well – that Castiel will (have to) sacrifice his grace/himself to safe Dean from the Mark and become mortal in the process. It just seems like everything is pointing in that direction…

The Pretender – Season One (Watch Date: 16.-22. April)

Again I haven’t really gotten around to watch more than this…
But currently it is more the re-watch with Unmei in German.
It’s weird because some of the translations are quite different from the original. The best example would probably be the often quoted key-conversation between Miss Parker and Sidney regarding Jarod’s return to The Centre.

Sidney: „The Centre wants him alive.“
Parker: „Preferably“
Sidney: „Das Centre will ihn aber lebend.“ (But the Centre wants him alive)
Parker: „Wenn sie meinen“ (If you say so)

Aside from that is it difficult to answer Unmei’s questions, because even if I don’t answer to not spoiler her, she sometimes considers it an approval of her theory.
But it is interesting to see her reactions to some of things. For one does she not like the sinister grin Jarod has when he starts to plot the punishment/confession. I have to admit it is quite creepy, but it certainly fits. Though I do wonder why people don’t realize that his expression has changed throughout the revealing conversation…
Still, one thing is for sure: We would both never want to be on his bad side…

What were you watching?

What episodes (or movies) did you enjoy/dislike throughout the week?
Anything you’d recommend checking out?
Let me know in the comments below!

Final Words

With Age of Ultron around the corner I think I’ll now have to catch up on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as it is said that the story again leads to what happens in the movie.
We’ll see if I can manage to do that before going to the cinema.

What'cha Watching Wednesday #3

Due to my long absence from Blogging this is only the third instalment of the What’cha Watching Wednesday, but also one that will span more than one week.

What is this about?

Each Wednesday evening I will publish a post in which I collected the thoughts I had throughout the week while watching the latest or any episode of a series or maybe even a movie.
Depending on how my time allows it, the comment will also be for those that I watched that day.
You’re warned: There will be Spoilers.

Let’s start

Grimm – Season Two, Episode 14: Bad Luck (Watch Date: ~21.03.)

When I felt a bit better I tried to regain some normalcy by catching up with the shows I watch. Grimm was one of them. Some time back I already talked a bit about the show (still have to re-write that post) and I also mentioned that I want to make another series about the weird usage of German words in it, but so far I didn’t get around to talk more about it.
What I also didn’t manage to do is catch up further.
I’m still a few episodes behind and this one is the last I saw (I tried watching Double Date, but stopped after ten minutes or so, because I didn’t feel like watching more).
Anyway, the episode put an interesting twist on the „Lucky Rabbits Foot“ myth, but took a weird turn on the actual story line.
I’m still not sure about the whole Juliet-turned-into-a-Hexenbiest plot, but I do believe this could turn out interesting, as they so far usually portrayed them as the evil/bad guys and with one of the good guys becoming this kind of Wesen they could gain some redeeming features – like they did from the get go with Monroe and Rosalee as good Blutbad/Fuchsbau. I know Renard is technically a Half-Zauberbiest, but he is still not as good as the other two in my book.
What I do not get is the new plot with Adalind. She is such an annoying character and now she is pregnant from the Grimm thanks to a One Night Stand under a spell? Yes, awesome plot. [/sarcasm]
Seriously, when has a weird-ass pregnancy ever been a good plot-devise?
I mean she isn’t even a good mother to the child she designed to have as insurance/bargaining chip and she gets a second child right away?
As harsh as it may sound, do I hope – for plots and everyone’s sake – that she loses the child.
As interesting as a Wesen-Grimm baby would be is this predicament something I do not need explored while they are dealing with other more interesting things.

Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – Season Two, Episode 12/13: Who You Really Are/One of Us (Watch Date:~21.03.)

Skye struggles with her new powers, Bobbie and Mack reveal to Hunter who they really work for and Skye’s dad teams up with quite destructive forces.
Or simply put: This show gets more and more interesting and I just don’t feel like watching, as much as I want to. >_<
As for these two episodes: The glimpse at Mays back story with the appearance of her ex-husband was nice and gave her a little more depth. Though Skyes character development throughout the Seasons is by far the most explored. She now has people she sees as family and therefore rather harms herself than accidentally hurting them. It is not the healthiest of traits, but a good one to have.
Her path is understandable, what I didn’t understand was why Mack kidnapped Hunter to reveal that they are secretly working for the real S.H.I.E.L.D. He kind of lost credibility and sympathy points for that …
It just didn’t really make sense to me, but I guess it will be explained in the episodes I haven’t watched yet.
I really want to know how the Inhumans and the second S.H.I.E.L.D. story line come along, while trying to stay away from Spoilers, but I just can’t bring myself to watch the next episodes…

The Musketeers – Season Two, Episode 18: The Prodigal Father (Watch Date: ~21.03.)

Another series I probably haven’t mentioned yet.
I initially started watching this one because I wanted to see Peter Capaldi in a different role than the strange rival Doctor from Fortysomething and to see him in action before he became The Doctor.
The show is fun and interesting and the actors are great.
This episode focused a bit on Porthos, who soon became one of my favourites (in fact I’m even considering to change this guys‚ origins just so we could use him when Warlords get’s a screen adaptation one day >_< – though I’m afraid Howard Charles is a tad bit too short…).
It’s great to see a bit of his back story and have him show his wits for once. I mean, it is one thing to trust a newly found father, but it is a totally different thing to pretend to trust him, while still being loyal to the people, who became his family. I think this whole situation was handled quite well and as audience I did wonder were Porthos‘ loyalties lay, but I really liked the conclusion.
Rochfort on the other hand was the weird, creepy guy from the start and he now has his signature eye-patch and a plot to plan against the queen. As I haven’t seen the last two episodes of the Season I don’t know yet how it concludes, but I guess it will be interesting.
And just for the record: It was so weird when I heard the English pronunciation of the names the first time – especially d’Atagnon. Not that I’m doing any better at using the French way of their names – I can’t say Richelieu without nearly breaking my tongue – but it’s still weird…

Supernatural – Season 10, Episodes 15-17: The things they carried/Paint it Black/Inside Man (Watch Date: ~21.03./~Easter)

Logging on to Tumblr and not being spoilered for Supernatural is quite impossible, so I did manage/was forced to get up to date with this one.
I don’t really know what to think about the current story line. I never really felt connected to Sam and his character becomes more and more ruthless and dislikeable by the Seasons. Dean is supposed to be the Knight of Hell, that is coping rather well considering the circumstances, but Sam is human and that makes this an even more terrifying development.
After 10 Season they also have not learned that doing stuff behind the other ones back isn’t the best of ideas – though I liked seeing Bobby again and the whole plan they thought up was quite fun/interesting.
Though I still don’t really get the relevance of Cole. Sure he has a history with Dean and seeks/sought revenge and kind of reflects how many Hunters came into their world from a different perspective, but it is still kind of annoying…
By the way: My Review for the Second Season of Supernatural was recently published over at Extremis Reviews.

Once Upon a Time – Season Four, Episodes 14-16: Darkness on the Edge of Town/Unforgiven/Enter the Dragon (Watch Date: ~23.03)

As I mentioned before (another re-write worthy post) did I get hooked onto this series quite fast. Now it’s into its fourth Season and many things have happened since then.
Though a few things remained unchanged for me: Regina is still my favourite character and I still don’t like the Charmings. If any of the enormous cast deserves a Happy Ending it’s the (no longer) Evil Queen. Yes, she did some really bad things, but throughout the Seasons she has done a lot to redeem herself and we’ve seen that a lot of what she did was due to a twisted sense of vengeance.
Unlike the Frozen storyline do I enjoy the current turn to the search for the author and focus on the bad guys. Rumpelstiltskin got quite dull throughout the Seasons and is now finally getting back to his former glory, even though his actions are quite cowardly, which is his theme anyway.
We also got some new villains trying to get their turn at a Happy Ending. I really like their portrayal and back story so far. It really makes the actual story line more and more interesting again. The only things I wonder is who would date a Dragon (And why does everyone need to be related in some way? o.O)? And how much time has passed since Rumpel was exiled, that Belle is already seeing someone else? (Another subtraction from the sympathy points)
Still, I couldn’t get myself to continue watching as well…

The Pretender – Season One-Four + Movies (Watch Date: March/April)

Well….the only thing I currently seem to be able to watch is this old show…
When I was a teenager I caught some episodes on television and really liked what I saw. For quite some time now I wanted to watch the whole series and now as I didn’t want to tarnish the other series I’m following by watching them with a heavy heart I decided to catch up with this one. (I also tried Parks and Recreations to get my mind off of things, but I got kind of bored after the first Season)
I do believe there will be a separate post about it one day, but let me tell you this: It is surprisingly helpful when trying to cope with the loss of a loved one. The series deals a lot with these kind of things and portrays some great life values.
It’s also quite funny and has many interesting characters, just the main story line gets weirder and weirder by the Season/episode…I mean, like, really weird, Adalinds-baby-is-normal-in-comparison-weird…
I still started to re-watch it now in German with Unmei and occasionally re-watch one of the English episodes, as this is still the only thing I feel like watching at the moment…

What were you watching?

What episodes (or movies) did you enjoy/dislike throughout the week/month?
Anything you’d recommend checking out?
Let me know in the comments below!

Final Words

I hope I can get back to watching stuff like I used to, but right now I have this enormous watching-block (just like writer’s block only with shows – only that I’m also having a writer’s block right now when it comes to stories…) whenever I think about starting an episode. I really hope this gets better, but I’m not sure if there will be another instalment next week.

A different routine

Lies auf Deutsch
Tomorrow it will be a month, but also my first day back at work.
This means I’ll go back to my routine of working throughout the week and usually coming home for the weekend.

Yet, it won’t be the same:

  • The daily call will now be made by my Dad or me, with no chance of even hearing her murmurs in the background.
  • The two of us have to coordinate the shopping list and think of all the things she reminded us to buy.
  • My Dad and/or close friends will now be subjected to my rants and/of negativity, now that my main motivator can no longer tell me what nonsense I’m babbling about.
  • I no longer have a first hand proofreader that tells me what is wrong with my stories.
  • While waiting longer for the bus or taking longer to walk somewhere, there will be no one on the other end of the line that I can call to have someone to talk to.
  • When I want to see my Mum I have to look at a photograph, when I want to visit her, I have to go to the cemetery.
  • Everything will be different.

Still, life will go on regardless of all that.
As harsh as it might sound.

What remains

is an emptiness in my heart and the urge to just curl up and hide.
But I can’t succumb to this.
She wouldn’t have wanted it.
My Mum always encouraged me to participate in things I was unsure about attending.
She encouraged me to travel, to explore, to live my life the way I want.
I wont sully her memory by becoming even more of a recluse that I already am.
I will continue.
With this Blog, with my stories, with my travellings and concert/festival visits.
She would have wanted me to.
So, even though I’ll probably have to kick myself in the butt to do so – as my butt kicker can’t tell me to do something any more – I want to restart my weekly schedule for this Blog with the return of The Weekend Guess, Reading Together (when I finally manage to read something again) and the newer Watcha‘ Watching Wednesday, hopefully starting next week.
Thank you for your patiences and sympathies.
Read in English

Eine andere Routine

Morgen ist es ein Monat, aber auch mein erster Tag wieder auf Arbeit.
Das heißt ich kehre zurück zu meiner Routine von unter der Woche arbeiten und normalerweise nach Hause kommen fürs Wochenende.

Dennoch, es wird nicht das Gleiche sein:

  • Der tägliche Anruf wird nun von meinem Papa oder mir gemacht, ohne die Chance auch nur ihr Gemurmel im Hintergrund zu hören.
  • Wir zwei müssen die Einkaufsliste koordinieren und daran denken an all die Dinge zu kaufen, an die sie uns immer erinnert hat.
  • Mein Papa und/oder meine engen Freunde werden jetzt meinem Gerede und/über meine/r Negativität ausgesetzt sein, jetzt da mein Haupt-Motivator mir nicht länger sagen kann was ich für einen Unsinn von mir gebe.
  • Ich habe nicht länger einen Korrekturleser aus erster Hand, der mir sagt, was mit meinen Geschichten nicht stimmt.
  • Während ich länger auf den Bus warte oder einen längeren Fußweg irgendwohin habe, ist da niemand mehr am anderen Ende der Leitung, den ich anrufen kann, um jemanden zum Reden zu haben.
  • Wenn ich meine Mama sehen will, muss ich ein Foto anschauen, wenn ich sie besuchen möchte, muss ich auf den Friedhof gehen.
  • Alles wird anders sein.

Trotzdem geht das Leben weiter.
So hart das auch klingen mag.

Was übrig bleibt

ist die Leere in meinem Herzen und der Drang mich einfach einzuigeln und zu verstecken.
Aber dem kann ich nicht nachgeben.
Das hätte sie nicht gewollt.
Meine Mama hat mich immer ermutigt an Sachen teilzunehmen, bei denen ich unsicher war, ob ich mitmachen soll.
Sie hat mich ermutigt zu reisen, zu entdecken, mein Leben so zu leben, wie ich es wollte.
Ich werde die Erinnerung an sie nicht beschmutzen indem ich noch mehr zum Einsiedler werde, als ich es eh schon bin.
Ich werde weiter machen.
Mit dem Blog, mit meinen Geschichten, mit meinen Reisen und Konzert-/Festivalbesuchen.
Das hätte sie für mich gewollt.
Auch wenn ich mir wahrscheinlich selbst dafür in den Hintern treten muss, um es zu tun – da meine Hintern-Treterin mir nicht mehr tu was sagen kann – will ich meinen wöchentlichen Zeitplan für diesen Blog wieder anfangen mit der Rückkehr des The Weekend Guess, Reading Together (wenn ich es endlich schaffe wieder etwas zu lesen) und dem neueren Watcha‘ Watching Wednesday, hoffentlich ab nächste Woche.
Danke für eure Geduld und Anteilnahme.

But you have older siblings, right?

Lies auf Deutsch

This is the first question people ask when they learn about my parents‘ age.
But it also leads me to write this very personal post.
Nowadays it is not unusual to have children late in ones life, but a pregnancy during a woman’s early forties is still considered quite odd.
Back in the late eighties, after nearly twenty years of marriage, my parents were finally expecting their very first child and a little over nine months later little me was brought into this world.
Back then my parents were both already beyond forty: Mum 42, Dad 41.

Growing up with old parents

I love my parents to bits, regardless of us butting heads and disagreeing on things.
Yes, they have lived a complete life before me and much has changed since I’ve entered their lives, but we are a family that cares deeply for each other and that’s the important thing about it.
With all their experiences growing up and living in the GDR and generally already being old people, I do believe they raised me well.
Still, our age difference did lead to some confusion about our actual relations:

  • Back when I lay in the stroller and my Mum was pushing me around town, one of my Mum’s old colleagues asked her what it felt like to push ones grandchild.
  • When I was in kindergarten my Dad once picked me up and another child told me that my Grandpa was picking me up – which I was utterly confused about, as my Grandpa lived hundreds of kilometres away and wasn’t visiting us at that time.
  • Technically the titular question counts for this as well, as people have a hard time believing that I am an only child.

Anyway, at some point in your life you start thinking about the age difference. Not just because all the other parents are so much younger, but also about what will happen in a few years time. You start to realize that you won’t have your parents as long as others will.
For years my calculation was that when I’m forty, my parents will be in their eighties and I still have at least twenty years with them.
Unfortunately this turned out to be one of my false predictions.


on 7. March 2015 I lost my Mother to cancer

after mere 25 years of knowing her.
I know cancer is a disease that can strike at any age, but a young woman is more likely to overcome the struggles than one that is already in her sixties.

A futile battle

Back in 2011, when I returned from my worst semester during studying, I found her crying and admitting to me that she had done something wrong.
For a few weeks she had hid a wound under her arm from both my father and me to not make us worry, but when it started bleeding he knew and they decided not to tell me until my semester and my exams finished – I still failed 4/6 of them without knowing anything.
Shortly afterwards we got the diagnosis: Cancer, virulent.
Months of radiation and several chemotherapies passed and between them it looked like she would now finally make it. That she had won.
But there was always a remainder of the cancer and always another chemo.
Still, when she was well we still managed to do stuff together, like go the Christmas markets or the cinema, visit the Book Hotel, attend organ concerts and what not.
She was still able to do all that.
At least until earlier this year.
At the end of last year her body started to react badly, skin slowly peeled, her breathing got more problematic and her arm swelled.
Still, she did not want to worry us, so again she waited with seeing a doctor.
Only after we celebrated my Birthday together – where she and my Dad made fun of me by telling me there would only be cookies and later bringing in pieces of cake and two candles (a 2 and a 5) – she went to the hospital and stayed there.
When she got out about a week later and I finally saw her after my trip to Cologne, I was shocked how bad she looked and my fear of losing her rose.
The doctors statement that there was medically nothing they could do any more, wasn’t helping.
Still, my Mother always fought, always stayed optimistic and always assured us that things will get better.
But they didn’t.
Things got worse.
Returned from the hospital we now had someone from a nursing service coming to us on a daily basis and later on also someone from a palliative service a few days a week.
They tried to remove the water that got stuck in my Mums arm through a special massage, they twice removed a total of 3 litres of it from her lungs (first time 1 litre, the second 2) in the hospital and they changed her bandages on a daily basis.
Things looked good again. We had our schedules, the first care level and the services tried different things to improve her wound – which by now had spread from her armpit to her breast and back.
Yet, my Mum started having trouble eating and drinking.
Managing a whole litre a day was hard, just some days later a half-litre was much.

The final struggle

A volunteer from the palliative service gave us a booklet about how to live with someone that is slowly passing away and for some reason my Mum was eager to catch up and run through the phases described in it.
In her last week she went from being able to sit up and walk, to just lying, to lying in a special bed wearing a diaper, to being calmed and soothed by medication.
When she was awake she could still recognize us and say a few words, but she knew as well as we did that all her fighting was to no avail. That this horrible sickness finally got the better of her.
Yet, she smiled and listened to us like it was nothing.
My Dad, my aunt and I knew deep down in our hearts that she would not live through the weekend and we/I just kept telling my Mum that it was okay for her to leave us, that we would somehow manage, that we do not want her to suffer any more.
We were with her all the way to the end.
And it was the worst moment of my life when I held her hand and her breathing simply stopped.

My Mum

My Mum was the most important person in my life and I love her with all my heart.
She was a wonderful, caring and strong woman that fought until the bitter end.
There is a saying – I don’t know if it is a German one – that says that someone who fights for their children/family, fights like a lioness.
My Mum was definitely one, as all her fighting was to make sure she could stay by my side a bit longer.
She showed me how to lead a selfless life, how to help people in need and not ask for anything in return. In our Abschlusszeitung (literally completion paper, something people in their final school year make to commemorate their time together) of Secondary School – she was my teacher too – we compared her to „Mother Theresa“ and I still believe there could be no one more fitting.
She was gentle and I could always come to her with my problems and get a warm hug and encouraging words from her. She lifted my spirits so often I lost count, but regardless of my negativity she still remained optimistic and told me when I was babbling nonsense.
She was clever and a total bookworm. I got my love for reading from her and she was always the first person to hear about new stories I wrote or thought about.
She managed to completely read my Advent Calendar, but barely any of the stories for the Your Picture – A Story project over at DF.PP Entertainment. As we didn’t manage to keep up, she only managed to read the first few chapters of Warlords, but at least she liked them.
When she didn’t like something in the story I changed it and asked her again if it was better now. The last story we worked on together was „Nebeljagd“ that even made it into the current issue of the Bücherstadt Kurier.
I owe her so much and I will never be able to repay any of it.

What the future holds

It’s been a week now and I still haven’t completely realized that she is no longer with us. The lump in my throat and the heaviness of my heart is slowly getting better, but the tears still stream whenever I think about her.
Writing this helps a little as well, but I still don’t know when I’ll pick up Blogging and Writing properly again. I just don’t feel like doing anything right now.
Her memorial service will be on the 27th and maybe until then I find the strength again to continue. Until then I just need some time for myself. And for my Dad.

Life is like a book full of stories and it ends after far too few chapters.

Read in English

Aber du hast noch ältere Geschwister, oder?

Das ist die erste Frage, die Leute mir stellen, wenn sie vom Alter meiner Eltern erfahren.
Aber sie veranlasst mich auch dazu einen sehr persönlichen Beitrag zu schreiben.
Heutzutage ist es nicht ungewöhnlich erst spät im Leben Kinder zu bekommen, aber eine Schwangerschaft bei einer Frau in den frühen Vierzigern wird immer noch als seltsam angesehen.
Damals in den späten Achtzigern, nach fast zwanzig Jahren Ehe erwarteten meine Eltern endlich ihr allererstes Kind und ein bisschen mehr als neun Monate später wurde klein-Ich in diese Welt geholt.
Damals waren meine Eltern bereits beide über vierzig: Mama 42, Papa 41.

Mit alten Eltern aufwachsen

Ich liebe meine Eltern über alles, egal ob wir uns streiten und uns uneinig sind über Sachen.
Ja, sie haben bereits ein komplettes Leben vor mir gelebt und vieles hat sich verändert, seit ich da bin, aber wir sind eine Familie, die sich umeinander sorgt und das ist das Wichtigste.
Mit all ihren Erfahrungen vom Aufwachsen und Leben in der DDR und generell davon, bereits alte Leute zu sein, denke ich, haben sie mich gut erzogen.
Trotzdem hat unser Altersunterschied zu einigen Verwirrungen, was unsere tatsächliche Verwandtschaft betrifft, gesorgt:

  • Als ich noch im Kinderwagen lag und meine Mutter mich durch die Stadt geschoben hat, fragte sie eine alte Kollegin wie es sich anfühlte, dass eigene Enkelkind zu schieben.
  • Als ich noch im Kindergarten war und mein Vater mich abgeholt hat, hat ein anderes Kind mir gesagt, dass mein Opa mich abholen kommt – was mich total verwirrte, da mein Opa mehrere hundert Kilometer weit weg gewohnt hat und uns zu dem Zeitpunkt nicht besucht hatte.
  • Theoretisch zählt hier auch die Titel-Frage, da es Leuten immer noch schwer fällt zu glauben, dass ich ein Einzelkind bin.

Wie auch immer, an einem gewissen Punkt im Leben fängt man an sich über den Altersunterschied Gedanken zu machen. Nicht nur, weil alle anderen Eltern so viel jünger sind, aber auch darüber, was in ein paar Jahren passieren wird. Man fängt an zu begreifen, dass man selbst seine Eltern nicht so lange haben wird wie andere.
Über Jahre war meine Rechnung, dass wenn ich vierzig bin, meine Eltern in ihren Achtzigern sein werden und ich somit noch immer zwanzig Jahre mit ihnen haben werden.
Leider wurde das eine meiner falschen Voraussagen.

am 7. März 2015 habe ich meine Mama an Krebs verloren

nach nur 25 Jahren, die ich sie kannte.
Ich weiß, Krebs ist eine Krankheit, die in jedem Alter eintreten kann, aber eine junge Frau hat eine größere Chance den Kampf zu überstehen als eine Frau, die bereits in ihren Sechzigern ist.

Ein aussichtsloser Kampf

In 2011, als ich von meinem schlimmsten Semesters in meinem Studium zurück kam, fand ich meine Mutter weinend und zugebend, dass sie etwas falsch gemacht hatte.
Seit ein paar Wochen hatte sie eine Wunde unter ihrem Arm vor meinem Vater und mir versteckt, aber als sie anfing zu bluten wusste er es und sie hatten entschieden mir nichts zu sagen, bis mein Semester und meine Prüfungen zu Ende waren – ich habe trotzdem 4/6 Prüfungen nicht bestanden, ohne etwas zu wissen.
Kurz danach haben wir die Diagnose bekommen: Krebs, bösartig.
Monate voll Bestrahlung und mehrere Chemotherapien vergingen und zwischendrin sah es so aus, als wenn sie es endlich schaffen würde. Das sie gewonnen hatte.
Aber es blieb immer ein Rest des Krebs und immer eine neue Chemo.
Trotzdem haben wir es geschafft Dinge zu unternehmen, während es ihr gut ging, wie auf Weihnachtsmärkte oder ins Kino gehen, das Buchhotel oder Orgelkonzerte besuchen und was nicht noch alles.
Sie konnte das immer noch machen.
Zumindest bis Anfang diesen Jahres.
Zum Ende letzten Jahres fing ihr Körper an schlecht zu reagieren, Haut löste sich ab, Atmung wurde problematisch und ihr Arm schwoll an.
Trotzdem wollte sie uns nicht beunruhigen und sie wartete wieder bis sie zum Arzt ging.
Erst nachdem wir zusammen meinen Geburtstag gefeiert haben – wo sie und mein Vater mich noch veralbert haben, dass ich nur Kekse bekommen würde und sie später Kuchenstücken und zwei Kerzen (eine 2 und eine 5) auftischten – ist sie ins Krankenhaus gegangen und dort geblieben.
Als sie ungefähr eine Woche später wieder raus kam und ich sie nach meinem Ausflug nach Köln gesehen habe, war ich geschockt wie schlecht sie aussah und meine Angst sie zu verlieren stieg.
Die Aussage der Ärzte, dass sie medizinisch nichts mehr machen konnten waren auch nicht hilfreich.
Trotzdem kämpfte meine Mutter immer weiter, blieb immer optimistisch und versicherte uns das es wieder besser wird.
Wurde es aber nicht.
Es wurde schlimmer.
Zurück aus dem Krankenhaus kam jetzt täglich jemand vom Pflegedienst und ein paar Tage die Woche auch jemand vom Palliativ Dienst.
Sie haben versucht, dass Wasser das in Mama’s Arm fest steckte durch spezielle Massage zu entfernen, zwei Mal haben sie im Krankenhaus insgesamt 3 Liter Wasser aus ihrer Lunge gepumpt (1 Liter beim ersten Mal, 2 beim Zweiten) und sie haben täglich ihren Verband gewechselt.
Es sah wieder gut aus. Wir hatten unseren Rhythmus, die erste Pflegestufe und die Dienste versuchten neue Sachen um ihre Wunde -, die sich jetzt von der Achselhöhle bis zur Brust und dem Rücken ausgebreitet hatte – zu verbessern.
Dennoch fing Mama an Schwierigkeiten mit Essen und Trinken zu haben.
Einen ganzen Liter am Tag zu schaffen war schwer, nur ein paar Tage später, war ein halber Liter schon viel.

Der letzte Kampf

Eine Freiwillige vom Palliativ Dienst hatte uns ein Büchlein gegeben in dem etwas über das Leben mit einem langsam Sterbenden stand und aus irgendeinem Grund hat meine Mama versucht, die darin beschriebenen Phasen aufzuholen und durch sie durch zu rasen.
In ihrer letzten Woche ging sie von sitzen und laufen können, zu nur liegen, zu im Spezialbett liegen und Windeln tragen, zu beruhigende und schmerzlindernde Medikamente bekommend.
Wenn sie wach war konnte sie uns noch immer erkennen und ein paar Wörter sagen, aber sie wusste genauso wie wir, das ihr Kampf vergebens war. Das diese schreckliche Krankheit schließlich doch die Oberhand gewonnen hatte.
Trotzdem lächelte sie und hörte zu, als wäre nichts.
Mein Papa, meine Tante und ich wussten tief in unseren Herzen, dass sie das Wochenende nicht überleben würde und wir/ich sagten meiner Mama wieder und wieder, dass es okay war wenn sie uns verließ, dass wir irgendwie schon klar kommen würde, dass wir nicht wollen, dass sie noch länger litt.
Wir waren bei ihr bis zum Schluss.
Und es war der schlimmste Moment in meinem Leben, als ich ihre Hand hielt und ihre Atmung einfach aufhörte.

Meine Mama

Meine Mama war der wichtigste Mensch in meinem Leben und ich liebe sie von ganzem Herzen.
Sie war eine wundervolle, fürsorgliche und starke Frau, die bis zum bitteren Ende gekämpft hat.
Es gibt ein Sprichwort, dass sagt, dass wenn jemand für seine Kinder kämpft, dann kämpft sie wie eine Löwin.
Meine Mama war definitiv eine, da all ihr kämpfen dafür sorgen sollte, dass sie noch länger an meiner Seite sein konnte.
Sie zeigte mir wie man ein selbstloses Leben führt, wie man Menschen in der Not hilft und nichts dafür im Gegenzug erwartet. In unserer Abschlusszeitung der Realschule – sie war auch meine Lehrerin – haben wir sie mit „Mutter Theresa“ verglichen und ich denke immer noch, dass es keine passendere Person gibt.
Sie war sanftmütig und ich konnte immer zu ihr kommen mit meinen Problemen und bekam eine warme Umarmung und aufmunternde Worte von ihr. Sie hat mich so oft wieder aufgeheitert, dass ich den Überblick verloren habe, aber unabhängig von meiner Negativität blieb sie optimistisch und sagte mir wenn ich Unsinn redete.
Sie war klug und ein richtiger Bücherwurm. Ich habe meine Leidenschaft fürs Lesen von ihr und sie war immer die erste Person, der ich von neuen Geschichten, die ich geschrieben oder mir ausgedacht habe, erzählt habe.
Sie hat es geschafft meinen Adventskalender komplett zu lesen, aber kaum etwas von den Geschichten von unserem Dein Bild – Eine Geschichte Projekt, drüben bei DF.PP Entertainment. Da wir nicht hinterher kamen hat sie auch nur geschafft, die ersten Kapitel von Warlords zu lesen, aber zumindest die haben ihr gefallen.
Wenn ihr etwas in einer Geschichte nicht gefiel, habe ich es geändert und sie wieder gefragt, ob es jetzt besser war. Die letzte Geschichte an der wir zusammen gearbeitet haben war „Nebeljagd„, die es sogar in die aktuelle Ausgabe des Bücherstadt Kurier’s geschafft hat.
Ich verdanke ihr so viel und ich werde es nie schaffen ihr irgendetwas davon zurückzugeben.

Was die Zukunft bringt

Es ist jetzt eine Woche her und ich habe es noch immer nicht ganz begriffen, dass sie nicht mehr bei uns ist. Der Kloß in meinem Hals und die Schwere meines Herzens werden langsam besser, aber Tränen kommen noch immer, wenn ich an sie denke.
Das hier zu schreiben hilft ein bisschen, aber ich weiß noch nicht wann ich das Bloggen und Schreiben wieder vernünftig anfange. Ich fühle mich zur Zeit einfach nicht danach irgendetwas zu machen.
Ihre Beisetzung ist am 27. und vielleicht schaffe ich es bis dahin die Kraft zu finden weiterzumachen. Bis dahin brauche ich einfach ein bisschen Zeit für mich. Und für meinen Papa.

Das Leben ist wie ein Buch voller Geschichten und nach viel zu wenigen Kapiteln endet es.